ODE TO MY HYSTERECTOMYA fond goodbye – my uteri
And all that lies therein I fare thee well – it has been swell Let menopause begin! We’ve shared a lot of moments Some bitter and some sweet Thanks to you I’ve borne two children They have made my life complete As late you’ve been a “royal pain” And caused me endless stress What road we may have traveled is anybodys guess I’ll be better off without you We both know this is true A last goodbye my uteri Now you and I are through!!!! October, 1995 "Tushies on the Beach"It was like a scary movie....
As far as the eye could see Were girls in thong bikini's All skinnier then me!! None of them had an OUNCE of flab No thorny lines of blue and not a single one of them looked over twenty-two! They played and ran along the beach Nobody noticed me As I sat there with my sagging boobs Feeling ALL of 63 !!!! |
The Legend of the First Mah Jongg ClubWay backin the "olden days"
According tomy source Some Jewish ladies went to lunch They did chinese of course The gossiped and they giggled As women oft will do They talked of sex and men and such Shared problems old and new They said "this is a bonding - let's do it every week No excuse is needed - it's comaradie we seek" So every Tuesday evening - with regularity Amid wondton soup and egg rolls At that restaurant they would be It seems there was a backroom they wondered in one day where Chinese men were gambling on a strange game they would play What are these marble tiles With dots and flowers too? We want to learn to play the game Show us what to do! So began the fascination That to this day has grown As they learned the game of Mah Jongg And made it all their own! -------------------------------------------- Dedicated with extreme LOVE forever to the "OY OY Sisterhood" |
When you are feeling down and out
A well known cure it all Is to pack up all your credit cards and head down to the mall There is no greater pick me up when doldrums get you down buy yourself a little gift and lose that moppy frown Hit the sale racks honey - hit em hard with all your might but something that you do no need and you'll soon be feeling right If you can't afford it - go shopping anyway You'll figure out the funding on some other saner day Men go shopping when they must - and scrutinize the bill Women shop for therapy and pure ecstatic thrill Buy shirts and skirts and nighties - buy accessories galore Buy SHOES AND SHOES AND MORE SHOES Go right now - HIT THE STORE! (feel better?) |